Well, I wasn’t going to do this but...
I have been reading a few friends posts and thought why not? Besides, it will give me a chance to vent and air my mind out and of late, I really need that. My daughter is off for the summer and I have spent most of my time entertaining her. Not much cognitive writing going on.
Let's see, how to start. I guess I should introduce myself a bit.
My name is Liz.
There. You know who I am now. See ya’ later. No, just kidding.
My name is Liz and I am a writer. But, to pay my bills, I am a administrative assistant - someone’s personal gopher. Well, sort of. Right now I am just doing part time temp work. Can’t really stand to do it full time anymore. I don’t have the proper mentality for it. Since I quit to be a full time mommy and writer, I just don’t suck up as well. And yes, it takes a lot of sucking up to be someone’s personal assistant. Let me give you the details.
Requirements for Administrative Assistant Duties
- you must be a suck up
- you must be perky and well socialized - a chameleon if you will
- you must know how to make coffee
- you must know the location of every single dry cleaners in a 15 mile radius
- you must be willing to miss lunch for it will be needed to run your bosses errands that he doesn’t have time to run because he is too busy playing golf
- you must be acquainted with at least four caterer’s, two on a first name basis so that you can try to skin 5-10 percent off your bill and impress your cheapskate boss
- you must know how to break into spontaneous laughter - this is useful for those ‘off humor’ times your boss thinks he’s being clever or when a client comes into the office and you must charm their socks off because your boss is half an hour late
- you must be able to growl - this is for those pesky sales people that think they’re being clever by lying to you and saying "me and your boss go waaaaaay back" - ‘back’ my ass - get back out the damn door before I really get vicious
- you must be able to maintain a look of genuine interest for long periods of time for when your boss feels like imparting his ‘wisdom’ upon your constantly spinning brain - a hint: breath deep, and foooooocuuuus
- you must pretend to be interested in every stupid yuppy activity your boss enjoys - golfing, skiing, late morning brunches at the Top of Tower restaurant (like you could every afford to go there), the wall street journal, keeping your lawn picture perfect...you get my drift
- you must know how to do everything, including how to get alcohol stains, as well as the smell, out of his tie from his ‘business’ lunch (try Shout and Frebreeze)
So, can anyone guess why I am SOOOOO not wanting to go back? And that isn’t half of what you need to know. I just got tired of trying to remember everything.
I didn’t mind doing the work so much as the socialization it required. Always having to remember each clients social life, title, personal likes and dislikes, how many kids, if they are married...blah, blah, blah. And worst of all - being called a secretary. If I ever hear some old fart call me a secretary again I will have NO mercy. I am much more than just some woman in a skirt and blouse typing up letters. I manage everything from pie charts to their kids birthday parties. Don’t - go - there.
Yep, no problem with the work. Just hated having to be so damn perfect all the time. And the whole 'treating them like they were gods', just can’t do it anymore.
I am sort of a down to earth person. I’m not a hillbilly but I am not a snob, I'm somewhere in between. I like to sit out on my deck and watch the stars on a clear summer night, go for long walks in quiet places, listen to all kinds of different music, surf the net, read, go to a friend or family’s house and sit and bullshit for a while, fishing, camping - simple stuff. But I also like to go to museum’s, the library (a lot), live entertainment (and I don’t mean hanging out at the local bar, although I like live bands), and watching a good Historical account of some such.
And I don’t have the picture perfect lawn either. I tried to plant some flowers but we are on the verge of a drought. They have mostly dried up and now all I have is a big patch of dirt and weeds where flowers once grew. Lovely huh? Oh well, can’t do it all.
I really don’t have time for tending flowers. I am a single mother and have my hands full with an ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) child. But this isn’t so bad. As she gets older she will continue to improve. Girls usually grow out of their ADD and I have noticed a 100% turn around in her.
I am 37, widowed, and love it. I don’t mind having my own space. It beats the pants off of having to pick up someone else’s dirty laundry. It’s not that I don’t want to date, or haven’t thought it would be nice to share my time with someone I truly love and care about, it’s just I haven’t found anyone yet. It isn’t easy finding that special someone.
Anyway, enough. Tired, have to work tomorrow, laundry to do, child to wrangle, cat to kill...just kidding. Though I’d like to. Damn fur bag peed on my new rug.
Good night all!
Let's see, how to start. I guess I should introduce myself a bit.
My name is Liz.
There. You know who I am now. See ya’ later. No, just kidding.
My name is Liz and I am a writer. But, to pay my bills, I am a administrative assistant - someone’s personal gopher. Well, sort of. Right now I am just doing part time temp work. Can’t really stand to do it full time anymore. I don’t have the proper mentality for it. Since I quit to be a full time mommy and writer, I just don’t suck up as well. And yes, it takes a lot of sucking up to be someone’s personal assistant. Let me give you the details.
Requirements for Administrative Assistant Duties
- you must be a suck up
- you must be perky and well socialized - a chameleon if you will
- you must know how to make coffee
- you must know the location of every single dry cleaners in a 15 mile radius
- you must be willing to miss lunch for it will be needed to run your bosses errands that he doesn’t have time to run because he is too busy playing golf
- you must be acquainted with at least four caterer’s, two on a first name basis so that you can try to skin 5-10 percent off your bill and impress your cheapskate boss
- you must know how to break into spontaneous laughter - this is useful for those ‘off humor’ times your boss thinks he’s being clever or when a client comes into the office and you must charm their socks off because your boss is half an hour late
- you must be able to growl - this is for those pesky sales people that think they’re being clever by lying to you and saying "me and your boss go waaaaaay back" - ‘back’ my ass - get back out the damn door before I really get vicious
- you must be able to maintain a look of genuine interest for long periods of time for when your boss feels like imparting his ‘wisdom’ upon your constantly spinning brain - a hint: breath deep, and foooooocuuuus
- you must pretend to be interested in every stupid yuppy activity your boss enjoys - golfing, skiing, late morning brunches at the Top of Tower restaurant (like you could every afford to go there), the wall street journal, keeping your lawn picture perfect...you get my drift
- you must know how to do everything, including how to get alcohol stains, as well as the smell, out of his tie from his ‘business’ lunch (try Shout and Frebreeze)
So, can anyone guess why I am SOOOOO not wanting to go back? And that isn’t half of what you need to know. I just got tired of trying to remember everything.
I didn’t mind doing the work so much as the socialization it required. Always having to remember each clients social life, title, personal likes and dislikes, how many kids, if they are married...blah, blah, blah. And worst of all - being called a secretary. If I ever hear some old fart call me a secretary again I will have NO mercy. I am much more than just some woman in a skirt and blouse typing up letters. I manage everything from pie charts to their kids birthday parties. Don’t - go - there.
Yep, no problem with the work. Just hated having to be so damn perfect all the time. And the whole 'treating them like they were gods', just can’t do it anymore.
I am sort of a down to earth person. I’m not a hillbilly but I am not a snob, I'm somewhere in between. I like to sit out on my deck and watch the stars on a clear summer night, go for long walks in quiet places, listen to all kinds of different music, surf the net, read, go to a friend or family’s house and sit and bullshit for a while, fishing, camping - simple stuff. But I also like to go to museum’s, the library (a lot), live entertainment (and I don’t mean hanging out at the local bar, although I like live bands), and watching a good Historical account of some such.
And I don’t have the picture perfect lawn either. I tried to plant some flowers but we are on the verge of a drought. They have mostly dried up and now all I have is a big patch of dirt and weeds where flowers once grew. Lovely huh? Oh well, can’t do it all.
I really don’t have time for tending flowers. I am a single mother and have my hands full with an ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) child. But this isn’t so bad. As she gets older she will continue to improve. Girls usually grow out of their ADD and I have noticed a 100% turn around in her.
I am 37, widowed, and love it. I don’t mind having my own space. It beats the pants off of having to pick up someone else’s dirty laundry. It’s not that I don’t want to date, or haven’t thought it would be nice to share my time with someone I truly love and care about, it’s just I haven’t found anyone yet. It isn’t easy finding that special someone.
Anyway, enough. Tired, have to work tomorrow, laundry to do, child to wrangle, cat to kill...just kidding. Though I’d like to. Damn fur bag peed on my new rug.
Good night all!
posted by Liz at 9:54 PM
1 Comments:
Welcome to the wonderful world of blogging, Liz. Good to have you in the Blogisphere! It is sure to be a better world for your words.
I liked your description of Admin Assistant woes. I have done a little of this myself, but one thing that I have thought for years, is how little understood the vital nature of the role is, or that it is actually a partnership not a position of greater and lessor people. Take away an assistant and many professionals just cannot function. In some cases, the assistants actually do half of the job of those they assist as well.
I don't really quite understand exactly what it is all about, but it seems to be sometimes that as people progress in a profession they become children and expect everything done for them.
This is not a priviledge of where they are or a measure of their achievements, but a challenge for them to understand that a mature position in society requires the cooperation and respect for others, and their help.
They little realise that any important position of responsiblity is part of a whole, where others may have to bare the burden of everyday necessities they do not have the time or focus for. This makes everyone involve part of a larger system, in which each part is vital, and not part should be disrespected or ill regarded.
So really as an assistant you are a kind of superhero in disguise, your true identity never revealed, but saving the little neck of the woods you are in on a daily basis, your true powers little known, but vital none the less.
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