Missing Mark
I have been feeling a bit mopey lately and not very energetic about my writing. Part of it is because I have been very busy entertaining my 11 year old daughter, who is on summer break. And lets face it, when you are a single mother your kids really have to come first. You are all they have and in my case, very literally so.
My husband has been gone since 2003 (he passed on) and both my parents passed last year. The only grandparent she has left really has no patience for kids anymore (he is 72). As for my siblings, they are all older and busy, and their children are either too old or too young. So really, it's just her and I.
But to be honest, I don't think she is the only reason for my restlessness. I think my problem is Mark.
Mark is my writing partner here in the states. He lives in Michigan and is a very good writer. Here is an example of his writing.
http://www.bewilderingstories.com/issue203/reason_tobe.html
Great guy and a good friend.
Anyway, since he is currenlty incognito, and has been for about a month or so(no real conversing going on and no work on the novel at all), I have been focusing on some personal writing projects, which is what has me a bit uncomfortable. Since I have been focusing in on just my own stuff I have begun to evolve in my writing. I am finding my voice.
I know, that sounds like a wonderful thing and I should be thrilled - and I am. However, since I am getting out of the habit of trying to match writing styles with my partner (for the purpose of keeping the story flowing), I am finding it hard to work on the writing project that he and I started. And this has me worried.
Mark and I first met online in 2001 at Forward Motion, an online community of both aspiring and published writers. We started out in a critique group with two other writers but eventually we moved away from the site and started conversing privately. I also did this with one of the other members of the group (Robert) but I do not hear from him on a regular basis anymore. I miss him too. Mark and Robert are the reasons why I stuck with my writing these last four years, why my desire to keep going was so strong. Their kind words, thier encouragement, our friendship - they all contributed to my growth. And one other thing that really kept me going was the writing partnership I formed with Mark.
Mark and I have been working on a novel for quite some time. At least two years or better. I know, that seems like a long time but he has had some pretty rough blows to deal with, and so have I. The worst of his being the chronic illness his wife is now dealing with.
Mark's wife, Daneen, contracted West Nile virus back in 2003. She survived but at a terrible price. She can no longer work, she suffers from seizures, and they tell him that she will not live for very much longer. She often times has to go back and forth to the hospital. And because he adores her and worships the ground she walks on, this has been devastating for him. So, because he is my friend and has always had a kind word for me, I have remained ever vigilant about our writing project - until recently.
Mark and I are great friends and have a wonderful writing compatability, but since I have begin to grow away from my chameleon ways of shadowing other writer's styles, it is getting harder to edit the story we are working on. And without his input I can not effectively make the changes I think we need to so that the story flows better. It is driving me crazy. I have all these ideas banging about my head and nowhere to vent them. I could of course talk to other people, I recently met a wonderful and witty writer on line, but as much as I value his opinion (and I do - he is very insightful), I really need to have some input from Mark. Only he and I know the details of our story intinmately and know where it needs to go. Oh, and then there are the holes.
I have been going over our material with a fine tooth comb and I have found places that need fixing, places that need expounded on or explained better but whoa is me. No Mark. But what is even worse then all these niggling little details is my worry.
My greatest fear is that something has happened to Mark and he has just shut down completely. The last time I spoke with him he was going through some pretty rough times. Daneen wasn't doing well, a big job change was on the horizon, maybe even having to move, and he was feeling a bit under the weather as well. It would be sad to never see our book published but it would be even worse to lose my friend to grief or other problems. It would break my heart to see such a wonderful person consumed by the sorrows of life.
Damn, Mark. I miss you. I miss you, the kids, Daneen, and the zoo of animals you are collecting. I hope you are well and you don't kill me when you come back for the changes I am going to make.
My husband has been gone since 2003 (he passed on) and both my parents passed last year. The only grandparent she has left really has no patience for kids anymore (he is 72). As for my siblings, they are all older and busy, and their children are either too old or too young. So really, it's just her and I.
But to be honest, I don't think she is the only reason for my restlessness. I think my problem is Mark.
Mark is my writing partner here in the states. He lives in Michigan and is a very good writer. Here is an example of his writing.
http://www.bewilderingstories.com/issue203/reason_tobe.html
Great guy and a good friend.
Anyway, since he is currenlty incognito, and has been for about a month or so(no real conversing going on and no work on the novel at all), I have been focusing on some personal writing projects, which is what has me a bit uncomfortable. Since I have been focusing in on just my own stuff I have begun to evolve in my writing. I am finding my voice.
I know, that sounds like a wonderful thing and I should be thrilled - and I am. However, since I am getting out of the habit of trying to match writing styles with my partner (for the purpose of keeping the story flowing), I am finding it hard to work on the writing project that he and I started. And this has me worried.
Mark and I first met online in 2001 at Forward Motion, an online community of both aspiring and published writers. We started out in a critique group with two other writers but eventually we moved away from the site and started conversing privately. I also did this with one of the other members of the group (Robert) but I do not hear from him on a regular basis anymore. I miss him too. Mark and Robert are the reasons why I stuck with my writing these last four years, why my desire to keep going was so strong. Their kind words, thier encouragement, our friendship - they all contributed to my growth. And one other thing that really kept me going was the writing partnership I formed with Mark.
Mark and I have been working on a novel for quite some time. At least two years or better. I know, that seems like a long time but he has had some pretty rough blows to deal with, and so have I. The worst of his being the chronic illness his wife is now dealing with.
Mark's wife, Daneen, contracted West Nile virus back in 2003. She survived but at a terrible price. She can no longer work, she suffers from seizures, and they tell him that she will not live for very much longer. She often times has to go back and forth to the hospital. And because he adores her and worships the ground she walks on, this has been devastating for him. So, because he is my friend and has always had a kind word for me, I have remained ever vigilant about our writing project - until recently.
Mark and I are great friends and have a wonderful writing compatability, but since I have begin to grow away from my chameleon ways of shadowing other writer's styles, it is getting harder to edit the story we are working on. And without his input I can not effectively make the changes I think we need to so that the story flows better. It is driving me crazy. I have all these ideas banging about my head and nowhere to vent them. I could of course talk to other people, I recently met a wonderful and witty writer on line, but as much as I value his opinion (and I do - he is very insightful), I really need to have some input from Mark. Only he and I know the details of our story intinmately and know where it needs to go. Oh, and then there are the holes.
I have been going over our material with a fine tooth comb and I have found places that need fixing, places that need expounded on or explained better but whoa is me. No Mark. But what is even worse then all these niggling little details is my worry.
My greatest fear is that something has happened to Mark and he has just shut down completely. The last time I spoke with him he was going through some pretty rough times. Daneen wasn't doing well, a big job change was on the horizon, maybe even having to move, and he was feeling a bit under the weather as well. It would be sad to never see our book published but it would be even worse to lose my friend to grief or other problems. It would break my heart to see such a wonderful person consumed by the sorrows of life.
Damn, Mark. I miss you. I miss you, the kids, Daneen, and the zoo of animals you are collecting. I hope you are well and you don't kill me when you come back for the changes I am going to make.
posted by Liz at 10:48 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home